Are You Here To Have FUN?

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Fuck-ing Fan-tastic. Really. Oh, this couldn't have gotten any worse. I should resort to killing goddamned bunnies. 'Cause, y'know, HUMANS ARE NOT ON MY LIST AS OF NOW. Yea, whatever, I don't mind. Not. One. Fucking. Bit.

Oh ho, I'm sorry for those of you who can't get it through your thick-headed skulls that that was sarcasm. Forgive me, next time I'll be more blunt. Pft!

This is just fucking unbelievable. I had every right to stick my scythe where the sun don't shine in that whore. ESPECIALLY after her stupid deductive "skills" just wrote her a ticket to board the train of death. Oh, but that couldn't happen, now could it? No, no, apparently I can't do a fucking thing to her. Bull. Shit.

I can't remember how it led to this disaster. I'm not even sure what day it was. Like that shit matters now. Oh, wait. It was the conversation. Hahaha!!! Ella, you really know how to bring out the worst in me! EHEHEHE! What would I do without you?~

Anyway, after her "debrief" post, she confronted me the following morning at work. When we were alone, of course, just the three of us: Me, her, and a tape recorder. Lovely setting, no? It went a little something like this:

Ella: "Tell me something."

"What is it?"

"Do you think Zero might have supernatural powers?"

Me: "No. That's stupid."

Cue the smirk. Ugh. "I thought you might say that."

"What makes you think she has powers? Just 'cause she's Slender Man's lackey?" Like fuck I'm a lackey but I decided to humor her.

"She... predicts things. It's not just coincidence." She leaned closer to me. "It's not a coincidence you two seem to share that power."

"What power?" I inquired. "You know, in times like these, you need to be more specific Ella. I thought you being a detective, you would've realized that by now."

"I think," she bellowed over me, "that Zero has the power of foresight. Her posts are proof of that." She threw down a pad of scribbled notes in front of me. They were the names of the victims I had killed since the beginning of this blog. One list was arranged in alphabetical order, which was crossed out, and one next to it encased in multiple circles:

I sat there frozen. I'd almost forgotten that...

Anything else said after that is a blur. I knew I was caught. It wouldn't take much to convict me not. So, I thought, why not go out without a little good-bye party? Heehee!

God knows where Ella was, but her absence at the station was simply perfect. Oh, sure, I'm sure she would've just enjoyed seeing her friends and co-workers tremble in fear as they found a colleague break down the doors with a scythe. But! Fate would not allow that. I resorted to frolicking in this party all by myself! HEHE! Such a joyous feeling! The mouth-watering smell of fresh, warm blood bathing my body and scythe! I whacked every little ant this way and that; some attempting to call for help from other stations while others took aim with their handguns and opened fire. All fruitless! Every living being in that building was chopped and sliced apart in a matter of minutes. Some 30 or 35 people at most. The 36th would be arriving soon. Ehehehe!

I waited. Not for long, but enough to piss me off. I was working on cutting down the beams to the building when she arrived. OH HO!!! SUCH SWEET HORROR AND AGONY!!! HOW SHE DROPPED TO HER KNEES IN DESPAIR!! TEARS, TEARS!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA, YES, YES, PAIN! FEEL PAIN YOU BITCH!!!!

"Heehehehehe!! You're just in time, Birnhaum," I chimed. Her eyes struck at me, increasing 10 times in size at the sight of me. "You and I have a little closing act for this little party. Tell me, Ella, do you know the miracle of Death?" Then, something strange. Little fucker glared at me.

"You won't kill me," she said. "I don't die easily."

I screamed with hysterical laughter. "Don't go spouting shit you don't know about. I can change all that- "

A flash of black sprung between me and Birnhaum, the scythe was held firmly in a grasping hand, and a knife delved deep into the dead center of my spine to render me immobile. I gasped, but I couldn't wriggle free. My head lulled forward, allowing me to see the face of a man lurking within the black mass of robes...

"Just as I thought," he commented. "You are Zero."

"And you?" I spat. "Just what... do you think you're doing... you ignorant ass?!"

"I've been sent by Father," he replied, his eyes concealed in the shadow of his hood. "This child cannot die yet."

"F-Father?" I choked, attempting to move his knife. "The fuck are you- ?"

Next thing I knew, the building disappeared and the smell of blood no longer contaminated the air. Cold wind blew through the brush and the trees, the sky tainted with a red color of sundown. At once he sharply removed the knife and I fell to my knees, my scythe the only thing supporting me. Foggy as my mind was, it wasn't hard for me to put two and two together.


"Your tone displeases me, child," he replied as he proceeded to gather wood for a fire. "I have only followed orders I was assigned to carry out. Therefore, the fault is not mine."


"Father does not wish for the human girl to die at this current time. He has chosen not to inform me why."

"Ha!" I scoffed. "What, He gonna turn her into a proxy? Should've done that the first time, that- "

"Do not use His name in vain. He has chosen not to inform me. I can help you no further."

The subject was dropped. Idle chatter was exchanged between the two of us, but mostly the reminder of the day passed by in silence. Saint no doubt felt the vibes of hatred I was sending him and would refuse to talk to me if we got too close to the subject again. He advised me to no longer be descriptive with my blogs since Birnhaum still had access to it. Ha! What's she going to do if she finds me? KILL ME? HAHAHA!!! Stupid human can't hold a candle to me!!!

Be thankful, Ella. Your ass just got spared by a proxy. Next time when this game of cat and mouse commences once more, you're MINE.


  1. Understand that there are forces at work beyond your control. Embrace them and you will be better off.

  2. and now a knight enters this game of chess.

    and one who is even self aware.

    i find the tall ones strategies confusing at some points, but i think the jist can be deduced.

    welcome to this game saint. i hope the pawn doesnt cause you to much trouble.


  3. So you, Zero, were the source of Master's anxiety. It is a good thing that Saint intercepted you before going against His will.

  4. @Saint: I'm not aware of your "forces" and quite frankly I don't give a damn. I don't care if it goes against God's orders or whatever. This is my life and God had granted me permission do with it what I will.

    @OB|SERVE|ATION: Apologize for your own damn shit.

    @Dark Entity: Refer to my response to Saint.