Are You Here To Have FUN?

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Lexi K.

Landon was 31 years old when he died. He conceived his first born when he was only 15 years of age. I began living with him after our parents died. There wasn't a day that went by without me hearing about his woes over his child's mother. Pft. The bitch was literally a prostitute. And now her daughter is, too.

I've disappeared from the school system. Wandering from place to place at the moment. Not even sure which country I'm in, to be honest. Ugh. Hiding is such a pain.

You know, I'm starting to piss myself off. I can't believe how much I've been slacking lately. True, I couldn't have known where she lived, but I need to take care to be more cautious. I can't have too much family blood on my hands. I'll be uncovered for sure.

I stopped by a coffee shop to snag some free wi-fi. Ha! This certainly makes my job easier. I looked through dad's old files. They JUST now put an autopsy report together for Landon. Seriously, if you're going to disgrace my work, I might as well eat the bodies of my victims! Or make public spectacles out of them. Who knows? That might actually add more spice to this dreary life.

Any-who! I got flagged down by a cute little highschooler wearing three inch heels and an asking-for-it dress. She and I talked the afternoon away. We shared very momentous stories, oh yes. Who is this person, might you ask, that I would willingly keep alive for normal conversation? Hehe! Perhaps her introduction to me will clarify things.

"Auntie? Auntie Zero! HI!!"

Aww, I felt so special! Not to mention completely caught off guard. How the hell was I supposed to know she lived near San Francisco? I don't keep track of my bro's bastard children, let alone my bro. Truth be told, I thought she was dead. What a downer, eh? Aha!

We stood up and continued talking outside after about an hour or two in the coffee shop. Oh, oh, oh! And guess what she was gonna do?


"Aww, do you miss him? Hehe!" Oh, I'm sorry. I couldn't hold back the laughter protruding from my lips! It didn't even phase that slutty whore! Dense a fuckin' brick, I tell ya!


"What's so funny?" she asked so innocently.

"Oh, thank GOD, then this makes it all the more bearable! I don't give a flying rat's ass why you're going to see him, but this is all too rich!"

"I was forced to," she pouted. Was she displeased that I was laughing or that she was forced to see her dad? Either way, the look on her face was too precious! "Mom said I needed time away to see my dad. Why?"

"Ho, HO!! I'm just merely saying that I'm glad you hate him 'cause he's already dead!"

It was like a scene from a movie. She became still as a statue. "What do you mean, he's dead?" she whispered. "Of course he's dead to me!"

"OH, to you! To me! To the entire world! HEHEHEHEHEHE!!!!" I looked at that cunt straight in the face and oh was she fuming!

"No, no! How? Why?!" Let me tell ya, waterproof mascara is the way of the world. That regular shit can make even the most beautiful princesses turn absolutely horrible. What, was she sad? Did she really feel sorry for her poor excuse of a dad? Ha!

"Listen here, Lexi," I ordered. She jumped at the sudden change in my tone. "The old coon is gone. Be happy; neither of us gave a DAMN about him."

"B-But, I- !"

I quickly hit her on the side of the head with Knight, the blade aiming for her forehead. She had no time to prepare. In the course of one second, she was on the ground weeping and on the verge of fainting. Both of her hands tried to cover the gap in the side of her temple, as if they had some magical healing powers or whatever. Pft! So mediocre.

I squatted next to her head and grabbed her ear. She screamed such a delightful blood curdling scream as I dragged her head with my hand to look at me square in the eyes.

"You're just like everyone else. BORING. You disgrace me by sharing the same blood and name as I." So, to repay her for her disgraceful actions, I stripped her naked and left her body behind a row of bushes next to an empty sidewalk. Oh, I also tried cutting off her breasts, but with just a switchblade it proved a little too... messy. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!

Her last words were a riot. "You're the disgraceful one." Ha! Tell that to your grandparents next you see 'em. They'll tell you who the REAL man of the family is!

I don't know about you, but I feel as though with every blood bath I am closer to cleansing this condemned world! It's time this world has set their sights on a new GOD.

Oh, I bet you're wondering whatever happened to that widowed GF, Mel, huh? Well, I'll tell ya one thing. She's a loyal follower of God now! EHEHE! Not that she had a choice in the matter. She's such a friggin' robot, though. Does not interact in the slightest. I'm pleased.

Well, not really. Honestly, I'm not sure I like the way this God of mine works. Now the little soulless bitch is following me around like a lost puppy. UGH!! She is just as clingy now as she was when she was with Evan! Like, DUDE!!! This has been going on since, what, Monday evening? I've tried killing her off just for following me, but Knight and I aren't sufficient enough to do the job. The only question she'll answer is the why. WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME?!

"HE told me to." she'll respond calmly.

I am never converting a worthless piece of flesh EVER again!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Landon L.

They won't find me. They don't even know I exist.

It's times like these where being a cop's daughter comes in handy. I've erased any documentations they might have had on me years ago. And searching under my current name will produce ten results, none of whom are me. All they have is a face and a voice. On the loose. In the middle of town. Thirsty for blood. Hehe!

I returned home later that Friday evening, completely drenched in Evan's blood. No one was there. I had time. I changed into more comfortable clothes, opting to keep a hint of the perfume of blood. These days have been so unsatisfying. I haven't tasted blood in a week! Stupid meddling children kept getting in the way. I was getting skittish.

The following morning, I heard a bang on my front door. I knew it had been broken open. I glanced out my bedroom door and found Landon, my dearest step-brother, limping into the house. Drunk again. Although I shouldn't complain. I would do anything to be that drunk on the sweet vapor of blood.

I walked to the kitchen, both of us attempting to ignore the other's presence. He was a joy, oh, yes, yes. The best comedian when he's drunk! Not so when he was younger. Serious as a door-nail, that he was. I would have easily bumped him off had I been converted to God's ways earlier in life.

I've attempted to convert him as well, but there isn't a moment that goes by that he's not drunk. He always thinks I'm the one uttering nonsense. Interesting. There is no more respect between family than there is between friends. Well, then, he shall deserve the same respectful punishment, yea? Ha!

But this time it shall be different. Oh, yes, this time I have something special for dear older bro!

I reached into the topmost cupboard. Landon was sitting at the dining table, muttering to himself. I pulled out a bottle of vodka and cranberry juice from the fridge.

"She still not want you back?" I asked. I proceeded to mix the drinks into a glass. He moaned in response.

"She won't take you back," I snapped.

"Shut up..." he whined. Depression is a bitch, ain't it? Especially when your only solution to cure it is to reach for another drink. To which I gladly provided!

"You're hopeless," I would say.

"Fuck you," he would respond, drinking down the glass like it was a shot of tequila. I refilled it.

"You're such a waste of life," I went on.

"Go fuckin' die."

The cycle continued for an hour. The insults kept getting funnier and louder. He couldn't see, couldn't keep his balance, and his breathing was slowing. Yes, that's right bastard child. Die by the hands of your savior!

This was for the best. Had I left him alive, he would surely go up against me. He actually disgraced my God. SAID HE DIDN'T EXIST. That was around two weeks ago. He still is deaf in his left ear. Maybe because it's been cut off? Oh, who can say! Hehehe! It would have been his mouth had he not struggled. Why can't you little ants just accept your death like you're supposed to?

I will never forget his last words before passing into a coma: "Just kill me. Fuck it all. There's nothing left for me." Happy to oblige, dear brother!

Oh, how lovely the caress of his sweet blood dripped down my skin! Knight was implanted into Landon's back, quite content with his share of blood. We were busy, yes we were! We got rid of every feature that pissed me off. His mouth was now a big gaping hole in the middle of his head. I scalped the hair from his head. He didn't wash it anyhow. I cut off his other ear so that he would match with the other. I slit his throat and attempted to destroy his voice box. The sound of an older sibling's voice irritates me to no end. ESPECIALLY when they're stupid enough to give you orders. Like you're a fuckin' dog.

So, the day started off good. I changed around noon when my boredom took hold and I barged out of the house. I had considered setting him and the house ablaze, but that seemed a little redundant as of late. It seemed so unsatisfactory to leave a perfectly dead body intact. So I chopped him into bits and hid the pieces throughout the house. Best game of hide and seek ever! Hehe!

I was armed only with Knight and my laptop. I couldn't go back now. The authorities would be warned of my residence from Evan's school. Finding a new home is the least of my worries, however. Remember how I told you my dad was a cop? They've yet to disable his account access to classified cases and information. They haven't been on top of it because too many cops have died recently. I wonder why. :)

Anyway, I've assigned myself a mission. Been a few months since I did one. Hey, better to serve God than to feel his wrath, no? And that's exactly who I'm seeing. After I pay a visit to someone whose address I was able to acquire. It may be a long shot, but I figure why not!

I'm going to take Mel to see GOD.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Evan L.

I got rid of the mistake. Not that the general public isn't aware of my existence.

Singing Zero. Those who I've slain are categorized into a group called Mind in Zero. No one's yet connected the dots to me.

Until today.

I'll admit, I've been getting sloppy lately. Not so when compared to idiots called "witnesses" and "police." Ha! Forty people dead and they STILL haven't found me! This is almost too easy!

This is not to say I have a few hiccups here and there. After all, I don't have a lackey or two to help me clean up my messes. But that's just the way I like it. Reassures me I'm doing my shit right.

I was at the new school for about a week. The social class moron, Evan, was my first friend. He and this girl named Mel were a "thing." Ugh. How can anyone stand having their personal space invaded like that? Knight is my only exception. We're practically married. Anyway, there wasn't a lunch that went by without me having to witness smooch-fests between Evan and Mel.

"Oh, come on," I would say. "Get a room and fuck already." Those ballsie morons actually ignored me! And of course, those selfish pieces of flesh didn't give a damn when I would stand up and eat at another table. Oh, but they didn't mind following me! Clingy bastards.

Yesterday was a joyous day. Mel was sick and Evan was grieving. Such sweet music to my ears! The morning classes with him were more durable without Mel.

Then lunch came around.

Evan and I had little in common, so whenever Mel was gone to get more food or to piss he and I wouldn't talk. Oh, but that day had to be different!

"Did you hear what happened on the news?" he asked, not looking at me.

"No, 'cause the news is fulla bunch of liars."

"Three people died all round the same time about a week ago." Hey, don't ignore me you fuck!

"Yeah? You don't say." I leaned back onto the back two legs of the chair I was sitting on. "And 37 people died within this past year."

"You think it was Singing Zero?"

"No fuckin' doubt."

I couldn't tell what he was doing. My face was at that moment staring at the ceiling. He sighed.

"All those people had families," he whined. Oh, don't even start.

"So what? Dead is dead. Ain't no point in moping or worrying over stupid shit like someone dying."

Perhaps I was getting too comfortable with my life as an unsuspected fugitive. Or was I just bored that I hadn't been caught yet? Either way, I was starting to get reckless. Evan didn't speak to me after that.

This morning I was confronted by the guidance counselor at the school. And FORCED to go with her. Like, what the hell? The old hag sat me down and stared at me; looking as if she were half drunk with sleep deprivation. It was weird.

"I'm sorry to take you away from your morning class," she wheezed. "But I was told from another teacher that you needed counseling."

"Which teacher?"

"I can't answer you."

"Where'd that teach hear it from?"

"I can't tell you."

Fuck. "It was Evan, wasn't it?" I screamed. "I never told anyone else about anything and the bastard goes and blabs his big mouth!"

"DON'T use that language, Miss Song!" Was she literally telling me what to do? Ho, I would've killed the old hag had not I felt especially murderous for one person that morning. I got up out of my chair, knocking it over as I did so, and left while ignoring her pleas to persuade me from going.

I hid off campus until the bell rang at noon. I didn't want to have the hassle of a mob of teachers or police guards trying to find me around the school. I wasn't going to let some meaningless pawns get in the way of my work.

Then, mid-lunch, I spotted him. Alone. Mel was still sick. He sat himself on the grass outside. My body leapt forward without thinking. My rage got the better of me, yet at the same time it cleared my foggy gaze. Thank you, Evan, for reminding me what hatred feels like. Hehehehehehe!!

Before I knew it, I was standing almost right on top of him. Those puppy dog eyes of his knew why I was here. I didn't allow him time to speak. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and dragged him to the teacher's lounge inside the school building. It was empty, as is always the case during lunch. I threw that piece of shit onto the glass coffee table. It shattered into a million glass shards, red oozing from Evan's limp body. I stepped forward, trying to observe the damage. Two huge pieces of glass pierced him; one at the base of his neck and the other at his forehead.

Oh, no. No, no, no! He was NOT getting away with it that easy! He wasn't going to die until I said he could die! Knight reacted quickly to my rage. Between each slash was every insult I could think of that I could throw at the stupid snitch.

*Slash* "BASTARD!" *Slash* "MOTHER-FUCKER!" *Slash* "UNGRATEFUL LITTLE...!" *Slash, Slash, Slash, SLASH!*

It was only ten minutes long. It felt like eternity. I couldn't express the deep hatred I had for him. As I slowly regained my composure, a sudden thought flashed across my mind that made me laugh my ass off. Joyous! Momentous! OH, I WAS GOING TO GET HIM YET!

"G-Guess what?!" I shouted maniacally, grabbing his hair as I had done with Leah. "I know how to get you back REEEAAALL good! You love your little girlfriend, don't you? HEHEHEHEHEHE!!!" I smashed his face once more into the glass littered floor and escaped out an adjacent door that lead to a stairwell out to the back of the building. I can expect to hear the result of my artwork on the news within a day or so.

There is another reason why I like to work alone. BETRAYAL. I don't respond well when it is directed towards me. This is why I carry out judgment with only Knight by my side.

It is also why my complete loyalty is to my one and only GOD.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Lulu I.

Ho ho! I should take care not to be so reckless! Oh no, no, this won't do at all! I am so disappointed in myself.

It appears we have an Einstein in the making.

I let slip a witness to Leah's death. Granted, it was in broad daylight. But who gives a fuck nowadays what other people are doing? The business is not yours, so divert your eyes before you meet the same fate!

Oh, I can tell it was just eating her up over the weekend. The news just released on Saturday a story about a little house fire that killed three individuals. REALLY? You dare disgrace me by ignoring my fine artwork until NOW? Whatever. That sparked it for 'Lil Lulu, though.

Yeah, she confronted me during lunch today! She asked about my date with Leah. Yeah, I was last seen with her. I asked what the big deal was.

The bitch actually ADMITTED to witnessing the death! HA! Oh, she wasn't going to get away with that!

Of course, she never accused me to being the murderer. No, no, because she looked up to me too much to believe it was so! Aww, I was a role model for the lost little soul. Why are all the sob stories the same?

Obviously I couldn't have her blabbing her loud pie-hole to the authorities about this. They are more assumptive assholes than a lonely little freshman. Plus, they would link ME to the other deaths. Oh, the flow of adrenaline! I had not felt it in years! This is EXACTLY what I needed!

I hushed her, saying that admitting such a thing was not for public ears just yet. I guided the little lamb to the bathroom stalls. No one else was in there. Not that it wouldn't have been a problem if there were. Hehe!

I couldn't lock the door without the janitors keys. Which meant I had to work fast. 'Lil Lulu checked the stall in the corner to make sure it was empty, her back turned towards me. It was like she wanted to die!

It happened in a matter of seconds. Knight was quick to take action and I guided him to the desired target. I leaped onto her back, one hand clamped over her mouth, with the other slicing across her throat with Knight. Her muffled screams came through the opening with a touch of blood gurgling out. I ran her head against the wall and shoved her into the corner stall. She grasped her neck, unable to speak. Before closing the stall to leave her to die, I gouged her eyes in case she was found alive sometime later. Witness murder now, bitch! HAHAHA!!

I cleaned Knight in the bathroom sink, both of us quite displeased that we were unable to have enough time to taste more blood. I heard Lu kick the stall door in desperation. I laughed maniacally and left the building.

I wasn't sure anyone found her yet, but it was around the end of lunch that I was confronted by two lovely men in uniform. I love their cocky attitude when they're given power of authority! They pulled me aside next to the gate surrounding the school. They both looked down upon me like they were my fucking father.

"Miss," began the taller of the two. "We've been informed at the office that you transferred schools over the weekend. You are trespassing on school property as of today. We need to ask you to leave."

Isn't it sweet when life just gives you a freebie!

Friday, September 16, 2011

Leah W.

It's been a while since I've had this much fun. Two days in a row, isn't that neat? And it's not even three yet. I'm on a roll today. What does this make, like 39? Ugh. I'm nowhere near half.

We had a minimum day at school today. No one's noticed Avery's absence. They thought he was sick. Pft. Such cruel and idiotic creatures we are.

Sweet little Leah was there to greet me after we were dismissed. We walked to the corner together and crossed the street, just chatting up a storm. Talking to her is such a joy! I think I might miss that sappy slut.

I stopped somewhere on the sidewalk right next to an alleyway between two buildings. The stupid dunce kept walking at least ten feet before noticing my actions. That pissed me off like you wouldn't believe. Just enough to get the ball rolling.

She walked back to me. I was staring at the ground.

"What's wrong?" rang her voice. I swear it was like a loud chime in my ear.

Have I mentioned I never leave the house without Knight? Yes, my lovely friend, always there for me. Unlike someone I know. Or, knew.

"I like you, Leah. You are a great friend. Perfect even!" She smiled and hugged me. Then the luxurious sound of gurgling and regurgitating filled my ears in place of that painful ring. She backed away from me, a gaping hole in the pit of her stomach with Knight bravely showing his face from the pocket of my jacket dripping in that sweet plasma. I licked his neck, savoring the taste of her pure blood.

She gave me that look of exasperation and pain. As in, friendship pain. People have this weird tendency to not say one word the first time they're struck. This I was glad for. I hated that high pitched bitch's voice. I laughed in response.

"Too perfect, actually. Boring, even." Those pure tears started forming. Ah, add some salt to that entree, eh? She began backing away on the seat of her ass. I grabbed her neck and pulled her further into the alley, holding her in place.

"Since you're such a perfect friend... I'll allow you one question."

The tears and the blood churned together so nicely on her face. Not her best look, but very amusing. She sobbed in-between several chokes and hiccups. The solution of salty blood ran down onto my hand, which only added on to my fire. Quite literally, I will do anything to keep from getting my hands dirty. Even spoil my fun.

I squeezed harder around her neck, closing her wind pipe. She tried pulling my arm away, writhing like a worm beneath my grasp. The more she squirmed, the more blood drenched my hand. Her lips moved without sound and her eyes began bulging out of her skull as she gazed up at the sky. Pretty blue, like her eyes. Finally, after my patience ran its course, her movements slowed until she became limp and still in my grip. I snickered and let go, watching as she crumpled to the ground like a broken marionette. I leaned down to stare at her foggy eyes.

"You wanted to know why. Is that right, sweetheart?" I grabbed the top of her head, holding a hand full of hair, and shook her head in agreement. Ha! Even a broken doll still brought about such entertainment. I dropped her and her nose crashed onto the asphalt once more. I stood up, savoring in the taste of the salty snack she left upon my hand.


Thursday, September 15, 2011

Avery I.

Poor boy. It's not everyday you get betrayed by the woman you love.

I knew Avery for a about a year. He was passionate about soccer and hated to lose. He attempted asking me on a date, but I rejected. He hated how cold I treated him sometimes. He believed he was a miracle worker and could change my attitude.

Avery, do you know the miracle of death?

He should have known better. I wouldn't have had any fun if he did, actually. He did not realize how easily bonds can break.

And he never will.

It was cute. Honestly, I would have loved to drag it out if he hadn't been repeating the same, boring things.

"Please! Please! I beg you! Let me help!"


"I'm sorry! Whatever I did, I'm sorry!"

Did he think this was over the homework? That he wasn't tutoring me correctly?

He invited me over to his house earlier this evening to study for a grueling test tomorrow. His idea of bonding time. Ha! His existence was already pissing me off, not to mention the fact I hate school to begin with. The bastard tried making moves on me. The dumb fuck thought I was his bitch. Holding my hand was the snapping point.

I pulled out Knight, my trusty switchblade. I held him up to Avery's nose like they were lovers. He backed away until the wall prevented further progress. Knight continued to slowly pursue. He was such a rascally devil. Always eager for the first draw of blood. Oh, the look on Avery's face brought such delight! Stunned he was, yes; and silent too. Only after the first slash did he squeal for his life! It gives me chills just reliving such a joyous moment! It was about now the child found his voice and thought I was the crazy whore in need of help.

I just love the color of a horny man's blood. You know what it looks like? Hot tar with a hint of iron. I would have continued bathing in it had not his ignorant parents pulled into the driveway. Ah, isn't it unfortunate when a gas line gets cut near a fireplace? Believe me, the result is the most wonderful sight to behold! I can still hear Avery's last words before becoming well done like a piece of steak.

"I love you, Zero Song."

Aww, young love. He was a good guy. Perhaps would've lived on as a professional athlete. Who knows? I have to admit, I am gonna miss him. Teasing a guy is only second to chopping him into pieces, but it's still delightful. Hehe!

I love friends, don't you? They can always be replaced should something "unfortunate" happen. Of course, that doesn't apply to best friends. No, no, no, best friends are completely valuable.

That's why Knight and I make a great team.


Dreams Are Desired By Those With No Hope.

They are false hopes, a meaningless ruse. Whether they motivate or not is not my problem. You'll meet the same end either way.

Keep your head. Even those close to you may lose their way. Their sins must be rectified. They are not permitted to learn. They must be punished. There is no higher rule than this.

And yet you choose to trust them? In doing so you trust your life in the hands of death.

I am the sole judge. I decide your fate. My dear friend...

You are my prey.