Hehehehe...

Are You Here To Have FUN?

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Lexi K.

Landon was 31 years old when he died. He conceived his first born when he was only 15 years of age. I began living with him after our parents died. There wasn't a day that went by without me hearing about his woes over his child's mother. Pft. The bitch was literally a prostitute. And now her daughter is, too.

I've disappeared from the school system. Wandering from place to place at the moment. Not even sure which country I'm in, to be honest. Ugh. Hiding is such a pain.

You know, I'm starting to piss myself off. I can't believe how much I've been slacking lately. True, I couldn't have known where she lived, but I need to take care to be more cautious. I can't have too much family blood on my hands. I'll be uncovered for sure.

I stopped by a coffee shop to snag some free wi-fi. Ha! This certainly makes my job easier. I looked through dad's old files. They JUST now put an autopsy report together for Landon. Seriously, if you're going to disgrace my work, I might as well eat the bodies of my victims! Or make public spectacles out of them. Who knows? That might actually add more spice to this dreary life.

Any-who! I got flagged down by a cute little highschooler wearing three inch heels and an asking-for-it dress. She and I talked the afternoon away. We shared very momentous stories, oh yes. Who is this person, might you ask, that I would willingly keep alive for normal conversation? Hehe! Perhaps her introduction to me will clarify things.

"Auntie? Auntie Zero! HI!!"


Aww, I felt so special! Not to mention completely caught off guard. How the hell was I supposed to know she lived near San Francisco? I don't keep track of my bro's bastard children, let alone my bro. Truth be told, I thought she was dead. What a downer, eh? Aha!

We stood up and continued talking outside after about an hour or two in the coffee shop. Oh, oh, oh! And guess what she was gonna do?

SHE WAS ON HER WAY TO SEE HER LOVELY OLE POP. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

"Aww, do you miss him? Hehe!" Oh, I'm sorry. I couldn't hold back the laughter protruding from my lips! It didn't even phase that slutty whore! Dense a fuckin' brick, I tell ya!

"Hell no! He's an ass. GOD, I hate him!" GAHAHAHAHA!! YES, I WAS LITERALLY ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING!!!

"What's so funny?" she asked so innocently.

"Oh, thank GOD, then this makes it all the more bearable! I don't give a flying rat's ass why you're going to see him, but this is all too rich!"


"I was forced to," she pouted. Was she displeased that I was laughing or that she was forced to see her dad? Either way, the look on her face was too precious! "Mom said I needed time away to see my dad. Why?"


"Ho, HO!! I'm just merely saying that I'm glad you hate him 'cause he's already dead!"


It was like a scene from a movie. She became still as a statue. "What do you mean, he's dead?" she whispered. "Of course he's dead to me!"


"OH, to you! To me! To the entire world! HEHEHEHEHEHE!!!!" I looked at that cunt straight in the face and oh was she fuming!

"No, no! How? Why?!" Let me tell ya, waterproof mascara is the way of the world. That regular shit can make even the most beautiful princesses turn absolutely horrible. What, was she sad? Did she really feel sorry for her poor excuse of a dad? Ha!

"Listen here, Lexi," I ordered. She jumped at the sudden change in my tone. "The old coon is gone. Be happy; neither of us gave a DAMN about him."


"B-But, I- !"


I quickly hit her on the side of the head with Knight, the blade aiming for her forehead. She had no time to prepare. In the course of one second, she was on the ground weeping and on the verge of fainting. Both of her hands tried to cover the gap in the side of her temple, as if they had some magical healing powers or whatever. Pft! So mediocre.

I squatted next to her head and grabbed her ear. She screamed such a delightful blood curdling scream as I dragged her head with my hand to look at me square in the eyes.

"You're just like everyone else. BORING. You disgrace me by sharing the same blood and name as I." So, to repay her for her disgraceful actions, I stripped her naked and left her body behind a row of bushes next to an empty sidewalk. Oh, I also tried cutting off her breasts, but with just a switchblade it proved a little too... messy. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!

Her last words were a riot. "You're the disgraceful one." Ha! Tell that to your grandparents next you see 'em. They'll tell you who the REAL man of the family is!

I don't know about you, but I feel as though with every blood bath I am closer to cleansing this condemned world! It's time this world has set their sights on a new GOD.

Oh, I bet you're wondering whatever happened to that widowed GF, Mel, huh? Well, I'll tell ya one thing. She's a loyal follower of God now! EHEHE! Not that she had a choice in the matter. She's such a friggin' robot, though. Does not interact in the slightest. I'm pleased.

Well, not really. Honestly, I'm not sure I like the way this God of mine works. Now the little soulless bitch is following me around like a lost puppy. UGH!! She is just as clingy now as she was when she was with Evan! Like, DUDE!!! This has been going on since, what, Monday evening? I've tried killing her off just for following me, but Knight and I aren't sufficient enough to do the job. The only question she'll answer is the why. WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME?!

"HE told me to." she'll respond calmly.


I am never converting a worthless piece of flesh EVER again!

6 comments:

  1. EHEHEH!!! Killing everyone ya know? Best way to do things. ;)

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  2. Isn't it? :D
    Yes, their existence does boost me to success with every slash from Knight. Hehe! My lackey's becoming annoying, however. How you live with it I cannot fathom. HA!

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  3. Ya mean Graves? She ain't a lackey, she's a tool. Like a blade, she stays sharp she remains useful. If I can't sharpen her when and if she dull there ain't no point in keeping her. ;)
    No point in having a lackey. They break too easily, a tool is MADE to last~

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  4. Hehe! Oh good! It pleases me to know Mel won't last. ;D
    And from what I've observed, Graves is quite the handy tool! Although I prefer the inanimate object type of tool. To each their own I suppose! ;)

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  5. WELL ON A PERSONAL NOTE, IM MORE OF A LONE WOLF YA KNOW?
    I MEAN, DONT GET ME WRONG. I USE A HATCHET HERE, A METAL PIPE THERE, FUCK I ONCE KILLED SOMEONE WITH HIS OWN ARM!!!
    ITS NOT ABOUT THE TOOL THOUGH MY FELLOW FREAKS,

    ITS THE OWNER THAT USES IT WHO COUNTS >:)

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  6. @3H3A3C3I3M3 Hehe! You are quite entertaining! I like your style! Your words could not have been spoken truer, my lovely murderous friend! :)

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